The Practical Steps To Get Out Of A Business Slump And How To Power Plan With A Full-Time Job

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We all have blindspots that we would never think to bring up to our 1:1 coach. But when we listen to others being coached, we can uncover hidden areas of our perfectionism and productivity that  might have otherwise gone unnoticed, until it’s too late. In this episode you’ll hear Sam coach two PGSDer’s.

First Sam coaches Shoipei who’s was in a dip at the time of this coaching call. We all go through dips and slumps in our business, it’s apart of the journey. It can be so easy to say “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” but when you’re actually in the dip it’s much harder to see it from an intellectual perspective. The dips can serve as one of the best teachers to help us let go of the self-judgment and shame that we carry within ourselves. 

You’ll be able to consider how you can structure your week as Sam coaches Samara. A lot of us are in a situation that is good and we are wanting to elevate to a new level. This actually takes a lot of courage to leave a good situation to create a great one.

It’s easy to justify going from a horrible situation to a good one because no one wants to be in a horrible situation. The growth goal allows us to have a catalyst for change without needing to put ourselves in a desperate situation where it feels like we have our back against the wall in order to achieve. Tune in now to also hear Sam explain how to set your Growth Goal at the best level for you.

If you enjoyed this episode then join the waitlist for Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD) – samlaurabrown.com/pgsd

Find the full episode transcript and show notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode409

Note: Thank you Shoipei and Samara for giving me permission to share this call on the podcast. We appreciate you!

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • How to set your Growth Goal at the best level for you
  • The practical steps to get you out of a business slump
  • How to get through business dips
  • How to uncover the false associations your brain makes so that your not making your business harder for yourself
  • Why your words and actions might not be landing with your audience
  • How to stop resenting your full-time job
  • How to Power Plan when you have a full-time job
  • What to do when you feel like you have no time to do what you need to do

Featured In The Episode:

Listen To The Episode

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Introduction

Hi and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project. A podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release their perfectionism handbrake, so they can get out of their own way and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Perfectionist Getting Shit Done group coaching program, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business. You can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.

Renae
Hey, it’s Renae, Sam’s marketing manager, I wanted to jump on and introduce this episode before it gets started. So this is actually a coaching call replay from PGSD, which is perfectionist getting shit done group coaching programs. So this was a coaching call Sam did back in August last year. And when I first listened to this episode, it really opened my eyes to the practical steps to help you set growth goals and overcome those business steps and those inevitable business slumps, like how we get out of those business slumps when we’re in them, and then also how to structure your weeks for the most productivity.

So it’s a really fascinating episode. And at first, Sam explains how to set your growth goal a bit above what we subconsciously believe is possible. And I found it so interesting to really consider what I subconsciously believe is possible and what I intellectually believe is possible and how those two things can be totally different. So Sam really talks about how to figure out what you subconsciously believe as possible, and then set your one to two outcomes for each quarter from that place. And then yes, you’ll get to hear Sam, coach, the PGSDers on there, perfectionism and productivity and the power of hearing others get coached is just that we all have blind spots that we would never think to bring up to our one on one if we have a one on one coach. But when we’re able to listen to others be encouraged, it just uncovers hidden areas of our perfectionism and productivity and business that might have like forever gone unnoticed until it’s too late.

So, in this episode, you’re going to hear Sam coach two PGSDers, and you’re going to really enjoy this episode, I have listened to it multiple times. I love it. And also, if you do love Sam’s podcast, and the perfectionism project, it would be amazing if you could leave some reviews. It’s always fun to read your reviews, read what episodes that are really resonating with you. And just to have that bit of a feedback, and communication with what you’re enjoying seeing on the podcast. So yes, please leave a review once or as you’re listening to this episode, and enjoy the episode. Thank you.

Sam Laura Brown
Welcome to today’s coaching call. This is my first coaching call I’ve done since our new PGSDers joined us. So a big welcome to all of you who are here on the call, and also listening to the replay on the private podcast. So we’ve had a few requests for coaching today. And also, before we get into that, I just want to share a few things about the growth goal, especially since our new PGSDers we’ll be in the process of setting that growth goal, but also for everyone because your growth goal is really the starting point for your power planning.

And so we want to make sure that your growth goal is really set up to support you on your journey with your business and your perfectionism as well. And that involves a few different things. So obviously, we have the Growth Goal module where you can learn all about that there. But just based on what I’ve seen in the PGSD forum, and in people’s persistence logs, I just want to share a few little bits here specifically. So that these are top of mind for you, as you’re creating your growth goal. Or if you’ve already created it, you can take these into consideration. And if you need to make little tweaks to it or make a big tweak to it, that’s completely okay, too.

So, I have a couple of points I want to mention the first is the level at which to set your growth goal. So this is something that has changed in the way that I’ve taught this over the years. Because initially when I first set my first impossible goal, it was called at the time, I set it at 500k. And that to me felt completely impossible. And when I was thinking about 100k or 250k in a year, that felt really doable. Because I knew other people who’d done it, I’d seen a lot of people through like podcasts and Instagram and that kind of things do it. I had the intellectual knowledge. So I knew a lot of the steps of like what that could look like.

And it just felt very doable to make 100k or 250k. And that’s how I have my goal set at 500k. But what I have learned since then after coaching, hundreds of PGSDers on this after going through the process myself with my growth goal every year is that what we want to do is get a little bit more nuanced when we’re setting the level of the growth goal. And think about our intellectual beliefs, or our conscious beliefs, and what level they’re at. And they’re going to be higher than where our subconscious beliefs are, or our default thoughts, if you want to think of it that way.

So I’ve seen this in a few persistence logs. And if this is you, there’s nothing wrong with you at all. There’s no problem with doing this. But we just want to be aware of this. So if you have set your growth goal quite high, so maybe it’s in like, hundreds of 1000s of dollars, maybe even a million dollars. And part of your reasoning for that has been that, you know that it’s possible to make that amount of money, you know, what you need to do, and you just haven’t been able to do it. What I want you to be thinking about and asking yourself, is if you had to bet, say $100,000, on how much money you’d make in the next 12 months? What amount would you bet on? What amount would you say that is a done deal?

And asking the question in this way can help us to access where our beliefs are, in terms of our subconscious beliefs. And these are the ones that really run a lot of what we do, and that a lot of our thoughts about our self image, who we are our ability to trust ourselves our ability to do things like if we just focus on our intellectual belief level, and thinking about intellectually, what we know is possible for ourselves and possible for a business like ours, then we’re going to set that goal really high. And there’s not a problem with that it can still be so beneficial to do that. And it’s worth pursuing the goal, even if we don’t achieve it.

However, we want to have it just said a bit above what we subconsciously believe is possible. So for example, if you had set your growth goal at, say, $500,000. But if you had to bet money on how much you’d make in the next year, you’d bet that you’d make $100,000, that in might be really helpful to look at setting your goal maybe around 120 or 150, or 200. Rather than setting it above your intellectual belief level, setting it above why you subconsciously believe we were your default thoughts are at the moment. Thus anyone have any questions about that?

You want to raise your hand or unmute yourself? Kate, did I see you have a question? Or did I imagine that? Yeah, no, I imagine. Did you put your hand up? No. Okay. So if you do have any questions about that, and for those listening to the replay, you can post in the forum about it in your persistence log, if you’ve already set your growth goal, and you think maybe I do need to set it a bit lower, then you can also post about that in your persistence log, even if your goal has already been reviewed. So just be mindful of that and thinking about if I was to bet money on how much I’d make in the next 12 months, what amount would I bet on and then setting it just a bit above that, rather than where your intellectual beliefs are at.

And then I just want to quickly mention in terms of your outcomes, so you have your growth goal, which is for 12 months, we have your milestone, which incrementally increases. So in the Growth Goal workbook, you will find the formula for figuring out what that is for your goal. And then we have the outcomes. So I just want you to be thinking about the outcomes for each quarter, as mini goals and these outcomes that we want or two, and they need to add up to the milestone. And they need to like make it a done deal, in a sense. So I really only want you to be focused on this for the first quarter.

Because when we have you do your growth goal, you look at your outcomes for all four quarters. But obviously, for the way we do this goal, we don’t know the how yet. So we’re really just making a hypothesis, but at least for your first outcome. For your first quarter, we wanted to be for example, 10 clients or 250 sales at at X amount of whatever it’s going to be. So that that then can inform what goes in your power planning the actions that you’ll take. I know that when it comes to outcomes, I’ve seen in a few positions logs, that when it’s been that it’s been like, you know, post this many times on Instagram, right, this many number of emails, and those kinds of action steps.

And those are going to support the outcomes, we want to have it be outcomes that you get like a mini goal. And then we’re going to be flexible as to the house. So in the beginning, you might think well, I’m going to do a daily Instagram post. And then as the quarter goes on, you might think actually, I know a better way to do it. Rather than Instagram posts. I’m going to do this instead. So it just allows that flexibility there but we want the outcome. And those can change as well. But we want the outcome to be ideally, because we’re having a financial growth goal, a certain number of sales, whether it’s from clients from like there’s so many different kinds of things that we’ve held in PGSD whether it’s selling pieces of art, maybe you have a few different things you sell that’s okay to but it’s and maybe the prices as well, it’s going to change over the quarter. That’s okay.

But we just at least want to have an outcome that is going to have you achieving that quarterly milestone so they align. And also that isn’t just focused on the action. That’s where power planning comes in. We want to have the outcome be like a mini goal. So I hope that makes sense as well. If you have any questions about that, please let me know. When it comes to coaching, which we are going to do now. Is Shoipei here? I think we can start with you because I think it’d be helpful for everyone. And then Samara, I don’t know if Jasmine’s here, let me see. But yes, Jasmine’s here, and then in as well. We’ll see if we can get to everyone. Okay, Shoipei. Let’s go.

Shoipei
Can you hear me? Yes. Okay. So, I, I opened the doors to my clinic, I’d have been open since July 11. And these past weeks have been horrendous, like, horrible. I have been so terrified, like, just I cannot sleep at night. And I am like, oh my god, I literally made the biggest mistake of my life, I have fucked over my entire family, I have put everybody in debt, like, I’m not gonna make it, I just feel like I’m gonna die. And like, it’s just like, literally, my body is like, on fire because of terror. And so then I’m like, Okay, I need to, like do busy work to like, try to get more people in my doors. Because you know, it’s slow. Nobody knows, like, rationally like, nobody knows, we’re here, we have to just stick with it.

But like, emotionally, I’m like, this is not working. And I’ve already failed. And I need to, like, do the thing, like, frantically do all the things to like, get people on my door, so I can make this like financially viable. So then I throw myself into like, just random, busy work. And then and then I cycled through that and I’m like, this is not working. And then I go in, and then and then I end up in like self pity. And then I’m like crying to my family and my parents who have financially invested in this with me and my husband. And so like, it’s just been on this whirlwind of like, terror. And then like busy work, frantic busy work, and then self pity. And that’s like, the like, I’m like, all over the place. And I can’t I don’t know what to do.

Sam Laura Brown
And what’s the problem?

Shoipei
The problem is, I just am not in a good place mentally or physically. And I feel like I’m not able to look at this. And just trust the process, which I really want to trust the process. You know, everybody tells me it’s gonna be slow the first few months, at least, but I’m just so overcome with the fear and the terror. And I’m like, I’ve already failed. And this isn’t, I can’t make this last, what if I fail? What if this is it? Those thoughts that keep going in my head?

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, it sounds like that is part of you. That’s trusting the process. So tell me how that’s true. Because I know we love to be an all or nothing of like, I need a trusting or I’m not trusting. But what if it’s not that what if there is somewhere in the middle? Because you’re on this call right? Like, you haven’t just shut the doors thrown in the towel? You still go out?

Shoipei
Yeah. And look going. And if you’re here,

Sam Laura Brown
I know. I wouldn’t get you wouldn’t get coaching on it if you aren’t still going.

Shoipei
Yeah, and part of it is like I cannot back out now. Like, I’ve invested so much into this. And if if I back out now like there’s, there’s no nothing to go back to, you know, like, I will just live with my feeling of failure forever. And also, our family will be in like a lot of debts, because of my failed business. And so I can’t back out. So I’m like, I have to go forward. I have to keep going. I have to hang on. So and the problem is like, I just don’t know what kind of get myself through this. Because I’m really I’m really scared.

Sam Laura Brown
How have you let yourself I know, I was talking about this with you in your persistence log. I think it was somewhere in the forum. Yeah. Have you let yourself just be in the terror?

Shoipei
I…

Sam Laura Brown
Like you walk your way out of it. And, like, just be with the feelings.

Shoipei
I mean, I can say that I’ve tried, but then it’s like, I’m like trying to do I’m trying to be with it so I can get out of it. And yeah.

Sam Laura Brown
So the watch, when are we Oh, try that that were like, Oh, I’m willing to like feel the feelings so that I can get out of this place. And it’s been willing to feel the feelings of terror and despair or whatever that feels like to like, be with that feeling without an agenda of trying to get out of it like to just be in it. What do you think that would be like for you in terms of how would you be able to get yourself to do that? What could that look like? Have you done that? Because so that’s what I talk about what it could look like. For example, like putting on a certain song, setting time aside in your power planning to just like, sit in your room undistracted. And just like, write down all your worst thoughts that you have. And just like, let that emotion be that like, what do you think what comes up for you and you think about how you could just let those feelings be that without judgment.

Shoipei
I mean, that that in itself is very scary. I mean, I’m laying awake at night, I’ve gone downstairs and like put on a play dance to it, I’ve cried about it, like so many times, but like, actually just sitting with it, I feel like I can’t even be with myself, like, I want to crawl out of my skin. And I’m like pacing my house, because I can’t handle I can’t like be with it.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And I think like any like, like dance about it. And I think sometimes as well, when we think about crying about things, that in one way, crying can definitely be us processing emotion and holding space forward. And if I crying, with the thought of it shouldn’t be this way. And like that kind of thing. When we’re kind of arguing with reality, then, even though it is helpful to, to cry and get those feelings out that I feel like because we’re still resisting the situation and the feelings that we’re having, that we just kind of stay there like you have been where you’re still in the terror, you’re still in the self pity that comes with that as well. And it’s really like having this be and we all need to learn this at some point, we’ll all have our many moments, where this is the work that we need to do, is having that space and compassion with ourselves. Like if it was a friend, I know, it’s so cliche to say that, but if there’s a friend oftentimes, like, as humans, it’s in our nature to try and cheer them up and comfort them. But a lot of times, the best thing we can do for them and with ourselves as well, is to just be there without judgment and without trying to fix things. Can you think of a time you’ve been there like that for a friend or a loved one?

Shoipei
Yeah, yeah.

Sam Laura Brown
Tell me about it. What was that like in terms of being the person holding the space for them?

Shoipei
It was just like, just being there. I mean, I brought over a meal, I sat with them, and let them cry about whatever it was, they were upset about. I didn’t really feel a need to like fix it, or like comfort them just I felt like me being there was enough.

Sam Laura Brown
And did that emotion, like, obviously, they might have a lot more to process. But what tends to happen, I’ve found, at least when I’ve done that, for friends or family is that when someone is allowed to just be in their feelings without judgement about it, and without them needing to be solutions, or like fixing or getting someone to feel better, that emotion can’t help but pass and process. Like there’s only so long our brains, and our bodies need to be in that before it releases and moves through us. And it’s when we’re judging ourselves for feeling a certain way. So if you’re judging yourself for and it sounds like for all of us, I’m in the dip, there’s usually a lot of judgment going on that that we’re thinking it shouldn’t be happening this way. I should have known better, I should have done better. I should, I should, I should.

And so when we have that layer of judgment, it’s really hard to get to those feelings that we’re actually having. So like the self pity is coming from the judgment, that when we can release that judgment, I know it’s easier said than done. But also, it is easy to do. If we just allow ourselves to do about I think we’re often so addicted to that self judgment, and like that kind of overwhelm and all that that comes with it. That we like having it there even though we hate having it there, but it feels comforting of like, well, at least if I judge myself, then I’ll be able to improve because I’m not being too kind of myself, and so all have that kind of way of thinking, does it feel like if you were compassionate with yourself through this period, that you might not make it through it in terms of the business actually ending up succeeding, like what comes up for you when you think about giving yourself space, to not be doing all the things to try and get new clients in the door. And to just be for a minute.

Shoipei
I think the the, what you mentioned like the addiction, it’s like, I feel like it’s not going to succeed unless I worry unless I put myself in a panic state, like it’s not going to work and if I pay this price, like that’s what’s coming up for me like I have here today in the state of terror in order for this to be successful. That’s what that’s what I feel like.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, and it’s just because our brains have made a false association between like, Terror panic, worry and success because for a lot of us, we’ve been in those emotional states and we have like, pushed our way through and managed to achieve a result I was like, Oh, yes, okay. Well, it was because like we didn’t consciously think this but subconsciously like, oh, it was because I was so are hard on myself that I ended up succeeding. Okay, I need to do that again. Instead of recognizing like that actually stopped us from achieving more, and also enjoying the day to day of the experience, which is what we’re only ever in like, this is it even if your business is making millions of dollars a year and you have like too many clients ahead on all of that, we’re still in the day to day.

And so it’s really important to keep that in mind as well that we’re not like the goal with our growth goal isn’t just what we’re gonna hustle all the way to the goal. And then we’ll feel so good when we get that that’s not needed at all. And we set it that at the level we do. So we have to go through this kind of thing, and unlearn some of these false associations that our brain has made between success and certain behaviors and certain habits and certain feelings.

Shoipei
Yeah, yeah.

Sam Laura Brown
So what feelings would you like to have driving you as you navigate this next few months of your business? If I could work? What ones would you pick if they weren’t all on a platter for you?

Shoipei
I would pick, like having faith and hope. And like curiosity, almost just like we’re on an adventure. And let’s see what happens. But in like a curious way, not in like a panic way. I hope faith and curiosity are one wonderment.

Sam Laura Brown
And so which of those say like one of those feelings? Would it be faith is the one you pick? Since you mentioned it first or? Yeah, one faith. Yeah. So what’s the thought that gives you faith? Is it it could be the one you mentioned if like, we’re on an adventure? And it’s all going, wow, like, what? What is it believable to you, that creates a feeling of faith?

Shoipei
I mean, there’s the thought that like God would not have brought me this far, only to have me fail. Like, he’s, there’s still a plan that I’m supposed to fulfill according to like the universe, like, I’ve been brought this farr. And there’s more to go.

Sam Laura Brown
Okay. And then. So when you were thinking about that, and let’s say thinking about in terms of the practical, you have, like a certain number of clients, what do you want to feel. So if you’re thinking about that thought, and also after this call, it’d be helpful to go through and like, list out some other thoughts that might be variations to that, or whatever the similar that you already believe, like you don’t need to coach yourself into believing in, they’re already available to you. And your brain has been choosing to dismiss them and focus on the ones that create terror and despair, which is normal. But if you create, I guess, like a little inventory of different thoughts, this is what I like to do, especially around the launch, like an inventory that I can turn to that.

Even at like on any given day, probably all of those won’t resonate with me, but a handful will. And then a different handful will resonate with me in a different day. And that kind of helps me and they’re all one they already believe. And so that really helps me to just have my brain have different options when it’s wanting to go to overwhelmed despair, terror, all the things. So that thought God wouldn’t have brought me this had only like having to get this stuff. Then when we think about the clients, what do you need to fill? What action would you take? Because when you’ve had the other thoughts the action has been busy work. So what does that busy work look like? Just to get specific.

Shoipei
I mean, like, we’re pumping out a lot of social media content for our clinic account. And I’m like filming stories and making reels and like TikToks, and then also like designing new advertisements, or got in print magazines and stuff. But like that, I’m like, that only takes so much time and like, like we have four hours of clinic day and I don’t know how to fill the time. I’m like twiddling my thumbs and then just focusing on panic. So yeah.

Sam Laura Brown
So then if you are focused on like you, there’s a reason you’re you’ve gotten this far you started which is incredible. Like, you have to really give yourself credit for getting started and doing everything that you have. And then now in terms of your next steps, if you were thinking about you, you’re like here for a reason, essentially, what steps would you be taking? What would what actions would you be doing throughout the day? And it could be this is really important. That’s why I wanted to mention like, what does the busy work look like? It could still be all the same actions. But there’s a difference between say with an Instagram story. If you’re sharing the story with the thought, oh my god, this isn’t gonna work. No one wants this. Like, I’m never gonna make it. This is so embarrassing. My like family is going to be in financial ruin. Hey, come and join, you know, come and be a client and like we’re saying the right words, but they’re not learning because our thoughts are really one that I’m going to be attracting anyone in or when you’re having this different kind of thought it could be the same actions that you’re taking.

But the way that you’re taking that action is completely different. So it might not be, oh, well, I wouldn’t do any social media and do something completely different, it could be exactly the same. But it’s so important to look at the thoughts and feelings that are driving what we’re doing. Because a lot of times, when we’re like, Well, I’m doing all the right things, but it’s not working. It’s because those actions might be the correct ones. But the thoughts and feelings that are driving them aren’t going to create the result, because it’s the thoughts and feelings that create the result, not the actions. And that’s why we have like in the growth goal. I was saying before, like the actions can be really flexible, because it doesn’t really matter what the actions are. They’re not the most important thing when it comes to creating the result. Okay, so tell me if you’re in that face, like if you’re coming from faith, optimism, this kind of adventurous curiosity, and you have 12 hours that you’re sitting in the office today, what might that look like?

Shoipei
Well, yeah, like the first thing, I think you’ll be very similar things, I think the first thing that comes to mind is I need to get more out in the community and establish myself as an authority in this field. And so sometimes, yeah, I mean, social media is like the easiest, lowest free way to do it. And then just getting out and meeting other businesses, like maybe meeting other doctors in the area, which we haven’t doing from about, we actually have like a little info session planned on Thursday. But I think I agree, it’s the thoughts and thoughts and feeling that are kind of like my block right now. Because I feel like I’m in a place of desperation. And that’s obviously not attractive. I think also like working on my consults, like when I have a patient come in, and I’m telling them that this is the treatment plan that I recommend, and then pitching that like having my energy be one of authority and like conviction, instead of like, oh, like needy energy, you know. So that’s another thing that I could be working on.

Sam Laura Brown
And what would that look like practically speaking, like, how would you do that?

Shoipei
I could rehearse with my, my one staff member, or just in a room by myself with a mirror? Like practicing how to how to embody that in myself. Yeah, I just put my desperate energy at the key because I think with driving with, it’s just like desperation.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. Because it’s like, and it’s mostly desperation to get out of the terror. And yet, it’s like it we can see in this. So I wanted to kind of walk through that, that, even though it feels like the terror and the panic, and the worry, serves us, as I said, we’ve often made a false association that that does service that creates excess, that when we play it out, when we have those thoughts that create the terror and the despair, then that action we take is one that just has us recreating the situation we’re currently in, and then inviting in more opportunity for despair and terror and all the things and that’s where self pity comes in, the busy work comes in, and that at some point that gets so exhausting for our brain, that we’re like, I just want out of this, like this, it’s just because of those thoughts.

And we want to make sure that we’re not having you think that your brain shouldn’t be having those thoughts. Because we want to, like have hold the space for those thoughts to be there and for those feelings to be there. But just kind of it’s like, you know how they say in meditation, that kind of thing, like, you know, it’s like on a cloud floating away like it can be that can be in the backseat. But we don’t want to have it being the driver. And at the moment, like it’s been driving the car, and we just want to say, hey, you can still come like, you’re still going to be here for all of us. The fear, the self doubt, all of that is going to be along for the ride. But we don’t want to have it in the driver’s seat anymore. Yeah. So you’d want to make sure that when thoughts and feelings come up again, like the ones you’ve had, that you’re not then now well, I should know better. Or I should be in faith or whatever.

And shaming yourself about it or judging yourself about it. And just oh yeah, I knew this would happen. I knew my brain would still want to go there. And that’s okay, like, reflect that. And for all everyone here reflecting on when you have held space for a friend or if you work with clients, like when you’ve done that with the clients, what that was like and that might help you to access how you can hold space for yourself without having to fix it without judging it. Like letting that be there. And then at the appropriate time turning your mind back to the faith, adventurers curiosity and having that inform the actions you’re taking but you don’t need to be in that 100% of the time. Like even 50 Was that would be great. Like it’s you can really achieve so much with like a half manage mine so to speak.

So we don’t want to try and be in this all or nothing mindset about Like, you need to have all these kinds of thoughts all the time, and none of those kinds of thoughts. They’re going to be along for the ride, but we can redirect our mind. But we don’t want to do it against ourselves, like at our own expense. But like, I’m sure when you’re holding space for a friend or family member, and you can see like that emotion that that kind of in a place now with it, processed it, then that might be the appropriate time say, Okay, now like, what are your next steps going to be? And doing that with ourselves as well. Does that help? I know that Yeah. You can probably guess one of the answer how to never feel that way again. But that is not how it works.

Shoipei
Yeah, and there’s like an element of compassion there and giving myself space, because I haven’t, and I, it’s like, then like, go, go, go, go, go, or like, stop and cry. So just like being a little more gentle on myself and like, Okay, let’s take a moment, 10 minutes, half an hour, whatever it is that I need to, like, be with this. And not feel like I have to do something about it.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, I’d be really curious to like, what it would be like to just have a full day, when, say you’re in the office, where you don’t do any of that stuff. And he like, just let yourself, be with yourself, like, have more time than you feel comfortable having. And I like to do this, if I’m ever feeling overwhelmed about things I feel like I have so much to do. I just am like, I’m going to do nothing like I’m going to use one of my whole business days to not do any of this. And it always just for me helps me to regain perspective on what is actually the most important just like helps me kind of zoom out and see like, oh, everything is okay, everything is gonna work out. And all these things I’m stressing about actually, a lot of them, I don’t even need to do it all and like, discover things like that.

But in this situation as well, I wonder if you just put more time than you’re comfortable with, to just, I don’t know, you can also like do journaling or whatever it looks like for you. But to just let yourself be with yourself. Like how you were with that other person. And like you said, like you were just there for that you took them in meal, like you were just that, to just have that with yourself and to have no pressure on it like not be like, well, by the end of the day, I should feel a certain way. It’s just, I’m just going to be with myself. And no matter how I feel at the end of the day, I’m just going to be with myself today.

Because for most of us that feels highly unproductive. And the way we seat here, and we already don’t have enough time as it is. And that’s why we needed the most, we feel like we don’t have enough time as it is to just be ourselves and let it be okay, that we are where we are. And what tends to happen is that, like as we proceed, is that it then, as I said like that it comes out natural point where it’s like, okay, like, I can breathe that sigh of relief, like I’ve let it be okay to just be who I am and how I’m feeling. And then our brains like okay, well, let’s just get on with things. And it’ll naturally without that resistance and start to problem solve, but not from this. It’s not working and definitely needs to work. And it’s not going to work.

But it definitely needs to find a place, is like okay, well, let’s just keep going. But thank you for getting coached because we all go through the dip, it’s part of it. And it’s one of those things that we’re going to get comfortable being uncomfortable. And like when you’re in it, it’s, it’s different to just intellectualizing it. But thank you so much for sharing that because it is part of the journey. And it’s really, I think, one of the best teachers for helping us like have the judgment that we have, or my shaming ourselves and that habit. So I love that it brings up that work. And that is the quickest way to get out of it is to let ourselves be in it without judgment. So thank you, Shoipei. Thanks for getting coached. And who do I have next, Samara, if you want to unmute yourself. Hi, what can I coach you on?

Samara
Okay, so I tried power planning the first time. And it was really overwhelming for a lot of reasons. But I think the biggest thing that as I’ve been thinking about it for these past couple days, because I tried it on Sunday, it has been helping me like I actually was really productive, like these past two days, Monday, Tuesday. But it brings up this immense, like conflict I have because I have a full time job and I have my business. And I was looking at my calendar and I was like wow, like these huge chunks of time can’t be spent on my business. And I feel like I’m at a disadvantage because of that. And as I was making my to do list of like, these are all the things I like, you know, these are all my to-dos for my business. And this is how much practical time I have to do those to-dos. It was like, I don’t have any time to do the things that I want to do you know?

Sam Laura Brown
And is that why it felt overwhelming just that thought of? I don’t have any time to do what I need to do.

Samara
Yeah, just this because I feel Like, there’s this thing that I know is not intellectually true, but this like feeling that as long as I’m at my full time job, my business is going to, like suffer because of that. And so this felt like, oh, look, I have tangible proof that my business cannot get as much like attention as it needs because I have this job, you know?

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. What we doing in terms of planning and time management, what were you doing before power planning?

Samara
I was just doing a to-do list and it was like, I was very much in the practice of like this to-do list will never be done. And it’s like, forever long. And I was still feeling very much like my business. I’m not getting anything done with my business. But I don’t know something about the calendar just really stressed me out.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, and this is, I mentioned that because this is exactly why I recommend working from a calendar. And we do power planning, the way we do it is because. There’s a lot of these kinds of things that can just kind of hide out when we’re working from this long to do list. And then when we start power planning our brains like oh, like I hadn’t seen that before. And that’s so overwhelming. And it was just so much easier to work with this on to do this, even though it never been done. And I was in the same situation. So it’s working, it’s a good thing. And what I think would be really beneficial to talk about. And this is really how power planning gives us access to the work that we need to do coupled with the growth call is talking about your full time job, and your relationship with it and your thoughts about it.

Because I’ve been there I’ve had the full time job, I’ve had the part time job like all of that now I have a child like there’s always something our brains like a whole I’m at a disadvantage. For this reason, if I didn’t have that, I’d be more successful. And then we can be in this like self pity about it. But if we have a look at re imagining that relationship, so that you when you do leave your full time job, it sounds like that is your goal to at some point leave that you’re doing that because you want to not because you have to. So tell me more about your full time job situation. How is it dragging you down?

Samara
Okay, I think there’s a couple of things like sometimes I’m thinking about, it’s dragging me down because of like the time it takes. But another thing I’ve noticed about my job as I’ve been learning more about like perfectionism is that my job also really activates my perfectionism and takes a lot of courage and like, I feel very much like I’m growing into my job, even though it’s not my business. And so it’s kind of like, I just feel so drained after my job, that even though I technically probably could do a business thing in the evening, it’s just like, my amount of courage for the day is over, because I just did my job, you know?

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. Anything else?

Samara
I think those are the main things. Let me think a little bit if there’s anything else, my job requires a lot of courage. I also think my job again, I don’t, it’s weird, because I don’t see how this is holding me back as I’m about to say it out loud. But this is a thought that I have is like, my job pays me really well. And that makes me feel like I don’t have any incentive to leave it because I’m like, Oh, well, you know, I’m already making enough money to live my life and my business isn’t making me that much money. So maybe my job should just be my priority, which like, isn’t in line with what I want, but it feels like I should just focus on my job because my job is making me like, a lot more money than my business and also is like making me a comfortable amount of money. You know?

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. Like people were started out as like the golden handcuffs kind of thing that like, you have this really great situation. But I think it’s really like this goes back to what I was saying before about how we want to have for anyone who’s working in a job or like if it’s kids or a health issue, like anything that we feel like it’s taking time away. That we like reimagine it and then if it is a situation say with a job that we don’t want to be in anymore, that we’re leaving it because we want to not because we have to so when you were talking about the pay, like a lot of times as a society we talk about things like oh like if you’re leaving your job. Oh, why like, why are you leaving? Why was it bad?

Basically like instead of Oh, like you can leave just because you want to like you can leave a good situation a lot of times when we leave a good situation. So if you leave a relationship that seems to be working or like is good, or a job that’s good people like how quick What are you doing crazy, right? And really what we’re doing in PGSD is by going from good to great like a lot of us are in a situation that is really good. And when Then elevating that, and it takes a lot of courage to leave a good situation to create a great one. And so just knowing that that’s the realm that we’re playing in now we’re not in this other realm of, well, we’re going from horrible to good. And that’s easy to justify, because I don’t want to be in a horrible situation. So let’s talk about how your job is the best thing that could have ever happened to your business.

Samara
So there was a time when I was full time in my business, but because it wasn’t making me enough money, like literally, like I couldn’t pay rent, like I was just like, very, very financially stressed out. I was like, Okay, let me get a job so that I can have the mental space away from worrying about money. And that has actually been true, because I don’t feel like I’m desperate at all for clients or like, you know, if people don’t sign up for this thing, I’m not going to be okay. Like, I know that’s not true. And it’s almost weird, because I feel like, I don’t know why I’m like, but because I’m not desperate. Does that mean it won’t work? What I noticed.

Sam Laura Brown
And I said, what I was saying to Shoipei that our brains made these associations of like, oh, desperation, create success. And people have talked about, like, you know, you should be constantly dissatisfied with how you’re going so that you’ve driven to achieve. Like, there’s this whole narrative out there. And knowing that, like, maybe that works, but it doesn’t actually feel good. Like, even if that has achieved more, it’s an enjoyable, but recognizing, like, what if desperation isn’t the most powerful energy to create money? Like for me, when I was working, I had similar thoughts to what you mentioned before about it initially. And then just really recognizing that my business was my like, angel, I’m sorry, my job that I worked for, it was like the angel investor in the business that was like giving it money and giving me the mental space, and freedom to make long term decisions.

So I didn’t have to, like, do anything that I didn’t want to do to make money out of desperation that I could do it in a way that was really aligned with my values. And because of that, I’ve been able to create a more successful business, it’s not to say that you can’t create a successful business from desperation. But is that what we want? Not really, and knowing that if something could be more powerful, and creating it from a place of like, gratitude, or sufficiency, abundance, like that kind of energy. That which one would we choose, if we could, but I know what you mean, when you say like, well, if I’m not desperate, like, you know, I should have my back up against the wall, and like, that’s going to really drive me. But what if your back doesn’t need to be against the wall?

Samara
Right, like, that’s the thing that I feel like, is really like, the growth for me is to, to know that and also to show up in my business that way, because I think a lot of with my business, when I’m looking at, like, what do I think I need to be doing, it does still feel like I’m running my business as if I’m desperate. Like, I’m not pricing confidently, I’m noticing, like, I’m just assuming that like, I need to do all these things to get money in the door, and creating all of these, like offers that I don’t really love, because I’m still very much running my business, like, I need to just desperately make money as fast as possible. And then that also just like stresses me out. Whenever I think about like, well, what are the things I need to do for our business? I’m like, I don’t even want to do this thing.

Sam Laura Brown
That makes total sense. I think when it comes to like that back against the wall, feeling like that’s kind of where the growth goal comes in, not to have that feeling of our back is against the wall, but to create a container for ourselves, where we have something tangible to work towards it, even if our brain is like, well, you know, I’m making enough money to support myself right now. And like, I don’t hate my job, but I don’t love it either. But it’s not so bad. And like, we’re in that situation that the Growth Goal helps us to have that, like, personal growth. And that, I guess, that catalyst for change that we often think, well, if I was in a desperate situation, and in my circumstances that would create that. So when it comes to it takes a lot of courage for your job, how could that be the best thing that’s ever happened to your business, that you have a job that requires you to practice courage?

Samara
I mean, I guess it’s like more repetitions of being courageous and like, also creating more examples for myself of times when I have been courageous and when things have gone well for me, because I do have those for my job. And so it is helpful to remember that like, that also could be true in my business.

Sam Laura Brown
So if you could think any way about your job, and you could leave it whenever you wanted to as well because we think like if I think good thoughts about it, I’m gonna have to stay. But that’s not true. We can think incredible thoughts about the job. And we can say goodbye. So when it comes to your business, your growth goal, what you’re wanting to achieve, what thoughts that are believe will to you already? Could you have about your job that would really support you. And then we can talk about practically speaking with your power planning what to do. But how don’t want to think about your job? Since you already there anyways.

Samara
Right, right. I mean, I think remembering that my job is actually freeing up, freeing me up from having to be desperate with my business. That’s true. And that feels believable to me. And then that my job is a good container for me to practice being courageous, and it’s helping me be more courageous in my business.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And what about the time?

Samara
And that the time I spend out my job, especially if it’s time I’m spending doing courageous things, that is time where I’m just like, practicing courage, and that’s going to transfer over to when I’m in my business having to be courageous to.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, awesome. Okay, so let’s talk about your power planning, then. If it was easy to work on your business, while you are also fulfilling the commitments that your job, what’s a couple of ideas you have about what you could do with your, with power planning and how you can structure your week? Knowing that what you say now, like we’re just creating ideas, but this is as well, where your weekly review is going to come in, and really help you to see like, cool, I had a theory like that I could work after I got home from my job. And that didn’t happen. So next week, I might try going like, you know, working my business before my dog or whatever.

So that’s where it gets really going to help you to experiment with and test your ideas and reflect on that and see what’s working, what isn’t, and like tweaking that. But what are some ideas you have about, like if you do only have a certain number of hours for all of us, we only have a certain number of hours to work on our business. And even if we don’t have a job, or kids or a health issue or anything like we have clean rest, that we need to be doing this well. So we all have a limited number of hours. So given that that’s the case for everyone. What would that look like for you to have, it’d be easy to make the most of those hours, and maybe to choose when those hours would be?

Samara
I think the easiest thing, because I already get up early and have like, you know, a lot of space in the morning would be to just like put my business in the morning, especially because of the courage thing that we talked about. Like I don’t feel like my courage is all used up for the day, in the morning. And right now I’ve been working out in the morning. But I could just experiment with switching that and working out after work and see how that goes.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, it’s like, yeah, like when we’re working from a long to do list. And we don’t even see that as, like an issue with the way we’re thinking about our job. And then like, there’s all these other options for how we could spend our time. It’s challenging to celebrate for me, for example, that’s exactly what I did that at my job, it just, it wasn’t the cards thing. But it took up so much mental energy to do my job that I got home. And even if I had big plans for the business, I couldn’t do any of them, like my brain. Even if I did, it would take me three hours to do like a one hour task.

So when I moved that to the morning, and I just needed a shorter amount of time, because I like had all the mental bandwidth, they had all the courage I needed. And I could do that for myself before I did something for my boss. And then I could like go into my day at work knowing that when I got home, I could just hang out and like recharged and kind of have that clean rest then. So that’s not going to be for everyone. And that’s why we have like the weekly review to really help you see what’s working. But it’s great to try that and to just fiddle around with the key, what time of day and then okay, well I only have a limited number of hours. So what are my biggest needle movers as well?

Samara
Yeah, that makes sense.

Sam Laura Brown
Does that help?

Samara
Yeah, that really helps. Thank you, Sam.

Outro
If you enjoy this podcast, I invite you to sign up to receive a short daily perfectionist power up from me. These are little notes and reminders sent to you via email that’ll help you plan properly as a perfectionist and get you out of your own way. So you can go to Samlaurabrown.com/power to sign up today and you’ll start receiving motivating perfectionist power-ups this week.

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